• No one ever calls shotgun when they are boading a school bus.
  • If I live to be 100, my 100th birthday will fall on a Saturday. That's a pretty good incentive to stay alive 70 more years.
  • I'm pretty sure at some point I will be considered too old to be drinking Mountain Dew. I'm not sure what I'll drink when that day comes.

Drying Paint and Growing Grass Highlight Altoona’s Seventh Annual Homage to Awful

There’s a bizzaro-world of Minor League promotions. A twilight-zonesque place where fans are given their freebie on the way out the door. A place where elderly ushers dressed in drag escort fans to their seats. A place where half-eaten hot dog buns are tossed into the stands. And yes, God help us, a place where the music of David Hasselhoff is used to pump up the crowd.

Silver Hawks Find Promotional Inspiration in Plumbers, Mustaches

The South Bend Silver Hawks celebrate Plumber Appreciation Night, among other wacky things, in order to draw people to the ballpark.