• No one ever calls shotgun when they are boading a school bus.
  • If I live to be 100, my 100th birthday will fall on a Saturday. That's a pretty good incentive to stay alive 70 more years.
  • I'm pretty sure at some point I will be considered too old to be drinking Mountain Dew. I'm not sure what I'll drink when that day comes.

The Legend of Mr. Tooters

Superman wears a cape. Batman wears a utility belt. Mr. Tooters, a student in my Computer Applications class, wears a faded black t-shirt depicting a gaseous stick figure luridly advertising “free gas.”
When Mr. Tooters began my class in early December, he had already achieved mythical status. My fellow teachers spoke cryptically about the seemingly mild-mannered [...]