How to Dumb Down your Resume in Five Easy Steps
Trading down. For many Americans, the practice has become a necessity during the current recession. Tight times have turned dine-out steaks into stay-at-home Spam. They have caused BMWs to become Dodges. And they have caused high speed home internet connections to become pirated Wi-Fi signals stolen from an unsuspecting neighbor (sorry, Ted).
As the century’s biggest economic crisis drags on, some are being forced to trade down in yet another area: their job. But, many job seekers are finding that going from unemployed manager to employed bottom feeder is easier said than done, thanks to that dreaded “o” word – “overqualified.”
The plight of the overqualified is being acknowledged by hiring directors everywhere. Jamaica Eilbes, a recruiter for the employment agency Manpower, practices Qualification Discrimination on a regular basis. “I’d never feel comfortable putting a really high-level candidate into a lower level position,” Eilbes explained to the Wall Street Journal.
Short on employment prospects, but not ingenuity, some job seekers have taken to dumbing down their resumes in hopes of convincing potential employers that they don’t have the experience and skills necessary to warrant fancy titles or high salaries.
Although the idea of dumbing-down a resume goes against two main tenets of resume creation, namely don’t lie and always put your best foot forward, some have landed the entry-level job of their dreams (or nightmares) thanks to the practice.
If your overqualification is quickly becoming desperation, you may be tempted to put the dumb treatment to your resume. Follow these five tips and you will be on your way back down the career ladder in no time.
Ditch the Printer
Nothing says “I have extensive technology skills that command a large salary” more than being able to create a document on the computer and subsequently print it off. The amount of button-mashing talent that goes into the document creation process is mind boggling. Why put yourself out of the running before a hiring director even starts reading your resume?
The better bet is to write your resume longhand on a piece of lined notebook paper. If you must insist on creating your resume on a computer, it is best to stick with a simple program like Paint, which I use for my dumbed-down resumes (see right).
Desperate Times Call For Desperate Resume Measures
Avoid Specifics
Conventional resume wisdom advises people to use specifics when describing their previous positions and accomplishments. Phrases like “generated $1,500,000 in new sales,” and “organized 37 new product launches” help hiring managers understand exactly what contributions a candidate is capable of making.
Your potential employers do not want to know that the person getting their coffee or making their copies is capable of outperforming them. Underwhelm them immediately by being as vague as possible. “Sold some stuff,” and “worked on things,” will work fine on your new resume.
Focus on Favorites
A good “skills” section can be an effective addition to some resumes.
However, in the brave new world of dumbed-down resumes, listing all the programming languages you know and the software programs you can operate will only make you seem like a know-it-all show off. Consider casting yourself as a loveable office goof by replacing the “skills” section of your resume with a “favorites” section. Be sure to include your favorite television shows, movies, music, and breakfast cereals. A good “favorites” section will show your potential employers that you can talk pop culture around the water cooler as well as anyone.
Get Creative with Your Salary History
If your salary history includes previous jobs that earned you $100,000+ a year, you run the risk of pricing yourself right out of the entry-level market. Thankfully there’s an easy work around to this problem.
Always denominate your previous salaries in a little-known foreign currency, such as the Omani Rial (OMR). With today’s exchange rates, you can turn a deal-breaking $100,000 salary history into a “you’re hired” ريال عماني 38,500.
You Don’t Need No Education
The tendency among learned people is to include all of their degrees, certificates, and training within the “education” section of their resume – which is fine for upper level positions that require an excess of book smarts.
But, for those people back peddling their way around the career path, there is a much better way to document intellectual prowess. Show your potential boss that you can think quickly on your feet by playing Jeopardy. Prior to developing your resume, play along with the television version of the popular quiz game each night for an entire week. Record your scores in the “Education” section of your resume. This will accomplish the goal of conveying your vast knowledge while hiding the fact that you have an MBA or other advanced degree.
There you have it. Five simple steps guaranteed to dumb down your resume. Check back after the recession ends (which should be soon according to economists) and we’ll examine How to Exaggerate Your Qualifications in Five Easy Steps.
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I found that there are a couple of things that really increase the chances of getting a job, even now with an economic recession the basic rules still apply.
* Use Titles or Headings That Match The Jobs You Want
* Use Design That Grabs Attention
* Medium Size Resume and The Use Power Words
* Identify and Solve Employer’s Hidden Needs
* Sell the Benefits of Your Skills – it should be pretty obvious for the employer why not hiring you would be a loss for their company
As a CPA, how do you have time to write all this? Anyway, you have a fascinating web page and I’ll definitely be back!
I wish I could say it was because I’m prolific, but mainly it is because I don’t practice accounting full-time anymore. I teach High School Business and Computer classes as my full-time gig, which gives me plenty of free time in the summer. Thanks for visiting! Hope to hear from you again soon.