Weiner, Arkansas – the Capital of Adolescent Humor
Some of the greatest achievements in the history of mankind occurred by accident. Coke, for instance, was invented when Atlanta pharmacist John Pemberton mixed together a handful of random ingredients while trying to invent a cure for headaches. Penicillin was stumbled upon when an absent-minded scientist forgot to clean his laboratory prior to going on vacation.
On this day, April 7, 2009, another breakthrough was made – one that will be remembered for all eternity by sophomore boys who enjoy sophomoric humor. For it was today, at 1:03 pm, when two of my Computer Applications students discovered a town called Weiner.
Weiner, Arkansas...Home of the Fighting Cardinals
The discovery came while the students were researching weather conditions for a database project. Each two person team was assigned the task of gathering current weather conditions from 20 different cities, and compiling the information into a database, where it could then be organized and manipulated in a number of different ways.
For some of my students, the idea of creating a database is about as appealing as the idea of having an acne outbreak before a big date, so I tried to incorporate an element of fun into the assignment by encouraging the class to find cities with odd names. (Although the suggestion may not seem like much, I have found that small twists of this nature can make the difference between a student completing or not completing an assignment)
As I sauntered around the room, I noticed most of my students had taken the conventional route – selecting common cities such as Chicago, St. Louis, and Louisville. Then I came to “Brad” and “Steven,” my compadres in the back of the classroom. As I glanced at their computer screen, I noticed they had comprised a database solely of wacky towns. There was Tennessee, Illinois, Crapo, Maryland, Quitman, Georgia, Winner, South Dakota, Sheboygan, Wisconsin and Forks, Washington. Satisfied that my advice had taken hold with at least one group, I continued around the room. I returned to Brad and Steven moments later when I heard them laughing hysterically. When I asked them what they had found, all they could do was point at their screen, which was displaying up-to-the minute weather information for Weiner, Arkansas.
Part of me, the part that didn’t have to worry about maintaining order in a classroom with twenty-eight fifteen and sixteen year-olds, wanted to laugh. Hard. The “responsible teacher” part of me won out though, so I just grinned and told them that the preferred spelling of “weiner,” was in fact “w-i-e-n-e-r” (thank you, Principal Skinner). My spelling lesson did little to dampen their enthusiasm.
“What kind of stuff you think they have in Weiner?” Steven asked Brad excitedly, just before rephrasing the question and typing it into Google.
Normally Google processes queries in a snap, but Steven’s Weiner query seemed to take forever, which allowed plenty of time for a group of curious students to make their way back to see the results.
It turns out there’s not much in Weiner, AR. Just a school. The Weiner School District, to be exact. Of course, that link was where Steven’s mouse landed and within seconds, Brad and Steven were treating half of the class to an impromptu tour of the internet home of the Weiner High School Cardinals. The small group howled at the risqué irony when Steven clicked on February’s Teacher of the Month, Mr. Woody. Even the trivial statements made on the Principal’s page (“It is with great pleasure that I welcome you to Weiner High School”) drew a chorus of laughter.
After a few minutes, the laughter died down and the group of students returned to their seats to conduct their own Weiner research. One student, skilled in the art of browsing Wikipedia, noted that, with a total area of 1.4 square miles, Weiner just wasn’t that larg… “Brandon!” I cut the student off before he could finish.
As the bell rang and the students exited the room, I had the sinking feeling that I had inadvertently done more to improve the students’ comedic skills than their database building skills.
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[...] as a high school teacher. The above post, along with the posts The Legend of Mr. Tooters and Weiner, AR – The Capital of Adolescent Humor, are excerpts from my journal. Future excerpts from the journal will be posted under the tag Rotten [...]
A perfect example of “sophomoric” humor!
Come on Debbie- stop being such a stick in the mud. I would have laughed too and what this country does NOT need are more idiots like you that can’t laugh at things.
I agree with Debbie. There’s nothing funny about this kind of stuff. It debases our society. What ever happened to nice, clean knock-knock jokes? Why does everything have to be about a penis? Morgan, perhaps you should grow up!!!
I actually graduated from Weiner in May of 2009. We are used to people laughing about the name of our town. And to correct Travis, you do spell the name of the town W-e-i-n-e-r. It was named after the most well known man in the parts when Northeast Arkansas was first settled. His name was Mr. Weiner and he was from Germany. The name was pronounced with a V instead of a W. If you look at a map of Germany you will find a town named Weiner very close to a town named Waldenburg (which is a town just south of Weiner, Arkansas)
A Weiner alum? That is awesome!
Thanks for the info and thanks for stopping by. After I wrote that past, I read where the Weiner School District was in danger of being shut down/consolidated into a larger district. Can you give me an update as to where that stands?